


Things We Could Be

by Sokorra



Series: The "Things We Could Be" Universe [1]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, post episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 10:25:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1301500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokorra/pseuds/Sokorra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh and Donna spend their vacation resting, healing and making some future plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this story comes from the song "Counting Stars" by OneRepublic. 
> 
> Some of this story refers to my Storm series, though this is not a part of that series. This is by itself. But I carried over a few things. 
> 
> Dedicated to Bee & Anna who helped me brain storm on some of the things.

“Sam Seaborn.”

“Hey, Sam.”

“Donna! Hey.  Aren’t you supposed to be lounging somewhere soaking up some sun at this time?”

“Not at the moment,” She responded with a laugh.  “Thought I’d call and check in.  Let you know Josh actually made it on the plane in DC, and left it in Hawaii.”

“Its a legitimate concern,” he joked.  “CJ still doesn’t believe me.  She plans on calling Josh to confirm.”

“He left his phone at home.  His laptop and beeper too.”

“Josh went off the grid?”  Sam laughed before sobering.  “He needs it though.  You should have seen him. Donna.  I’ve only seen him that bad once...”

"Yeah.  I think that those of us close enough to notice the problem might have been too close to notice it,” she admitted.  She looked down, feeling momentarily guilty for only seeing workaholic Josh and not the warning signs that Josh was struggling.   She forgot that beneath the workaholic lay a man who had a stress disorder and a tendency to feel guilty over things that were not his fault. In fact, she hadn’t understood Sam’s ultimatum, as grateful for it on the plane she had been.  It wasn’t until she was helping Josh unpack when they got to the hotel and saw the bottle of anxiety pills that it finally dawned on her what was going on.

It had come crashing down on her.  All the signs, the symptoms.  Josh dealt differently with stress than others, but there were some common signs and no one could deny that Josh had been under alot of stress for the last couple of years.  There was the Carrick situation, being pushed back and having someone take half of his job load and being kept out of meetings. Then her...accident, dealing with her and with the peace process only to find in the meantime he lost his job to CJ.  That was followed up by Donna sniping at him till she finally left, CJ taking away the China trip at the last minute and leaving Josh to run the white house with no one from the Senior staff.  Then he ran Santo’s campaign and didn’t seem to trust anyone the way Leo had trusted his team.  It was his own fault, but that just added the problem.

Then there was the DCCC wanting to fire him a few months ago because of the whole Illinois thing which was stupid and Donna and Leo were both quite angry about it.

Finally, there was the whole situation with her, and topping it off was losing Leo.

She could see the signs now.  The focus on the negative opinions, the insomnia, the irritability and flying off the handle on the unsuspecting staff about polling numbers and whatever happened with Otto.  Josh was prone to outbursts, but it usually took awhile to build up and never at the frequency of the last couple of months.

These were all signs of chronic stress taking the toll on his body.  Add to it he was practically working 24 hours a day, wasn’t eating well, and was subsisting on red bull and pepto bismol for the last few months it should have been blindingly clear.  They were lucky he hadn’t had more severe health problems, especially given his past medical history.

When she had given him that ultimatum it hadn’t been to hurt him, but to keep them from falling into the old habits. Those habits were not good for either one of them.  She needed to know she was wanted more than just a passing stumble.  And she had been afraid, so afraid, that this, something she had wanted for so long, was just that. Something that had happened in the heat of moment that wouldn’t keep.

But with Josh already starting to shut down, it was probably just another worry to add to his ever growing list.

“How is he now?” Sam asked, breaking into her thoughts.

“He’s asleep, finally.”  She looked up and over the nice vista that could be seen from the lanai.  “He slept on the plane a little bit, but decided to take something when we got here.  He’ll be sleeping for awhile now.”

“Do you think he’ll be okay?”

“Yeah.”  She would make sure of it.  “He needed his support system, Sam.  We were really crappy at it for awhile, but I think we can do better now.”

“Me too.  I talked to...Bob just before you called.  Apparently he noticed.”

“Bob?”

“You know, Bob.”

“No, I don’t.  We know alot of Bobs, though not one I can remember that would talk about Josh. Russell?”

“No...the one Andi Wyatt calls the father of her children.”

“Oh.  Wait, you two have been talking to....Bob?  How is he?”

“Struggling, but alright.  He was worried about Josh too.  Apparently they’ve been talking the last couple of months.  He wanted me to see about sedating Josh until he got a few days sleep.”

“I’ll make sure he does.  Tell Bob I miss him next time you hear from him.”

“Will do.”  He paused.  “Take care of Josh for me.  Let me know how things go.  I know things have been crazy lately, but one thing I know didn’t change was the fact that Josh loves you, and you love him.  You’ll work it out.”

“Thanks, Sam.  I’ll talk to you soon.”  Sam said his goodbyes and Donna disconnected the phone and sat it on the stand beside her chair.  She sat there for a moment wondering if Sam’s hope in their relationship was without merit.  Apparently she had lost her ability to know Josh enough to know he was having trouble.

Of course Josh wouldn’t see it that way.  He would feel like he was handling most of it.  That was why he needed people like her, like Sam.  Those who knew the signs that his stress levels were getting ahold of him.

Not everything was about that Christmas.  She hadn’t seen close to having that sort of reaction, but she suspected that he might have brought some of that level back if he had continued on the way he had.

She stood up and took the phone in with her as she returned inside.  Sitting it on its base she wandered over to the double doorway of the suite that led into the bedroom.  It was a nice room. Josh had splurged.  She had a feeling he hadn’t even looked at the price.  He was going to wince whenever he did, but that was neither here nor there.

Josh was still asleep, laying on his back with a pillow over his head.  She never understood how that was comfortable. It would make her feel like she was being smothered and she’d never get to sleep.  Which was why in the few nights they had spent together they usually ended up at opposite ends of the bed.  She slept on her stomach, he on his back.  No matter how they fell asleep, this was how they would end up sleeping.

It was new, finding out sleeping patterns.  It sounded like something she should know from 9 years of friendship and sharing rooms due to falling asleep on each other, but this was different.

She walked over to the bed and slipped in, figuring she could use a few hours more sleep as well.  She fell asleep with her hand resting on the arm he had flung out.

* * *

 

She woke up to find herself alone.  She frowned, noticing that the room was had natural lit.  They must have slept all morning.  They had taken off from DC in the evening, had a layover in California and then got to Hawaii about 14 hours after they left DC.  Making it 9 in the morning, DC time, or 4 am Hawaii Standard, and she had called Sam at about 5:30..  Looking at the clock she saw it was about 3 in the afternoon.

She moved to get out of the bed, hearing the shower going in the other room.  However she stopped when she noticed a folded piece of paper on Josh’s pillow.  Frowning she picked it up and noticed her name written on it.  She unfolded the letter and started to read, noticing Josh’s handwriting instantly.  She still had his note from their second christmas together memorized.

_Donna,_

_I know you want to talk, but we all know that when confronted without preparing I’m not exactly the best at getting my message across. So I decided that while I let you sleep a little longer I’ll write down some of the things I want to say._

_I love you.  I’ve loved you for quite a while, in many different ways. If you ask Sam, he’d probably say I fell in love with you that first campaign, but to be honest I’m not sure when I did.  I just know it was a part of me to be in love with you without knowing. And I was good at pushing myself back into denial when the timing didn’t suit...and the timing never seemed to suit.  But after Germany I couldn’t go back into denial even if the timing was still bad.  You were so angry, and I know I am at fault for some of it, but I just couldn’t deal with the idea that you might not feel the same._

_I was angry when you left.  I understand why you left (well some of it) and after a lot of thinking I can understand why it was a good thing you did.  At the time however, all I knew is that you were angry at me for so long and you just left.  Not even a call to let me know it was just the job you had left. Which yes, I eventually figured out.  CJ seems to think I haven’t, but I have._

_I’m not sure we ever talked about why we were angry with each other, and I suppose eventually we will have to discuss it.  But that isn’t what I wanted to say here.  I was amazingly proud of you for all that you accomplished, even if it came at the expense of the Santos Campaign.  It was never about not believing that you could do it, it was always about missing you as my professional partner._

_You’ve been my best friend for almost 9 years.  I missed you this year, sometimes even when you were in the room.  I don’t want to lose you, or us, again.  I want the fairy tale ending where me and my best friend ride off into the sunset and life happily ever after._

_You asked me what I wanted out of what was going on.  I wanted you, I wanted forever.  I asked you to move in with me, but I think we got our signals crossed there.  I want to marry you and maybe one day, if you are agreeable have that 2.5 kids they keep telling us is the average.  Not that our kids would be anything close to average._

_So I’m going to put in your court. I’ve known for awhile what I wanted, though perhaps not how to express what I wanted._

_Josh_

_P.S.  I ordered breakfast...or whatever meal it is now.  And coffee._

She looked up as she heard him walk into the room, his hair still wet from the shower he had been taking while she read the letter. He looked nervous as he spotted her reading, as if expecting her to reject him.

“Oh, you.”  She said getting up and walking over to him and grabbing him into a hug.  “I love you too.”  She could almost feel his smile as he responded to the hug, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close, just like he had that Christmas eve so many years ago.  But she wasn’t satisfied in just replicating the moment.  She pulled back a little and brought his head down to hers for a kiss.  This was something they didn’t...couldn’t...do seven years ago.

“I take it you liked my letter?”  He said as they finally parted.

“I think you could say that,” she joked, kissing him again.

“There was one part of the letter that requires an answer, you know.”

“You can’t infer?”

“I’d prefer not to.”  He responded, nervousness showing in his voice.  She looked at him frowning.

“I thought it was obvious I was going to say yes.”

“Really?”

“No, Josh, I’m just playing with you...of course I mean really.”  She rolled her eyes then kissed him softly.  “To be absolutely clear:  I, Donnatella Moss, have agreed to marry you”  His grin returned.  “Do you know what you are getting into?”  She joked.

“The best decision of my life,” he said in all seriousness, which made the tears come back. God, she loved this man.

* * *

 

“Sam Seaborn.”

“Hey, Sam.”

“I thought you weren’t supposed to call in to check up on work. Did Donna not reinforce the rules,” Sam joked as he leaned back into his chair.  Josh had done alot of work, but he had still left a lot of work for Sam to delegate out.  Apparently his best friend hadn’t learned how to delegate without Donna helping him.  His call was a welcome break from the paperwork in front of him.

“Well, she did, but I’m allowed a phone call, just like any other prisoner.”  She could hear Donna going JOSH! in the background and smiled. “Ow! She hit me.”

“Well,you did call yourself a prisoner.” Sam stated.  “How’s Hawai’i?”

“Good.  Already feel a lot better. Thanks for the push,Sam.”

“You needed it. I think you were a few hours away from a red bull overdose.”

“Yeah.  Anyway, the reason I called..”

“Yeah?”

“Donna and I are getting married.”

“Ok.”

“Not surprised at all,are you?”

“No, not really. The two of you were married years ago, you just didn’t realize it.”

“How do you figure?”

“Josh, she practically lived with you while you recovered. She dealt with all the paperwork at the hospital.  When something was wrong with you, people went to Donna to find out what it was.  She was your date to most of our functions, and your excuses that you needed her for work only fooled us the first few weeks. Honestly, you reminded me of The President and Mrs. Bartlet version 2.0 half the time.”

“Well, thanks for cluing me in.”

“Hey, I tried.  I tried to get you to acknowledge you got jealous about her dating.”

“Yeah, I kind of had denial going for me there, didn’t I.”

“Definitely.  But hey, I’m glad you two finally figured things out.”  And he was.  

“Well, this at least.  I think we have a few more things we need to take care of before everything is figured out.”

“Isn't that any marriage?”

“I suppose so.”

“What did your mom say?”

“We haven’t told her yet.”

“You told me before your mom? I’m touched.”

“Sam.”

“Seriously, why haven’t you told her?”

“We actually are going to call her next. But we figured we should call you first...you helped us along.”

“I can put that down as a good thing about coming back.”

“Seriously, Sam.  I’m glad you are back.  I missed having you around.  Will was never able to fill your shoes.”

“Well, as much as I appreciate the sentiment, I think Will was just fine.”  Sam noticed the President walk into Josh’s office, which Sam was using till they got him one of his own.  He mouthed Josh to the President who smiled and made a “hand it over” motion. Sam’s smile grew and he handed the phone over to the man he was just getting to know - and who he liked.

“Josh.”

“Congressman.”

“I’m never going to get you to call me Matt, am I?”

“Its unlikely, sir.”  Matt smiled as he heard Josh’s voice.  It already sounded much more relaxed then it had in the last few weeks.  He had seriously been worried about Josh’s sanity if he hadn’t gone on vacation.

“How’s the vacation?”

“Good, Sir.  A lot less cold than where you are.”

“No doubt.  Especially as rumor has it my wife’s chief of staff also went on vacation, remarkably in the same place you are.”

“Interesting rumor sir.”  Now, there was the joking operative Matt had come to know while working in the House.

“Indeed. Tell Donna that Helen is happy she accepted the position.  And that neither of you are to think about work till you come back.  Have a real vacation, Josh. I give permission for Sam to hang up on you if you call in about work.”

“I believe you, sir.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh & Donna discuss some issues.

“Apparently we remind Sam of The President and Mrs. Bartlet.” Josh commented as he worked on his tie.

“Really?” Donna looked from where she was applying her make-up. They had decided to actually leave their room and have dinner in the Resort’s restaurant. Thankfully she had remembered to take one nice outfit to wear. Josh had somehow snuck a suit through.

“I don’t really see it.”

“Well, there are worse couples to be likened to.”

“True.”

“Alright, I’m ready.”

“Not quite.”

“What do you mean?” She asked, looking down at herself. Nice dress, good shoes, make-up done. She hadn’t brought any jewelry with her.

Josh walked up to her and took her hand and slipped on a slender white gold band with a small diamonds on either side of a larger sapphire. Donna was a bit speechless. How did he get an engagement ring?

“Josh...”

“It was my mother’s. She wanted you to have it when I finally got around to asking.”

“She...you talked about asking me with your mother?”

“Remember when My mom came through after Germany and came to see you?”

“Yeah.”

“She dropped this off at my place, thinking I’d need it now that I was starting to finally come to terms with the reality that I found the woman for me. She told me she had imagined you’d be the woman to wear since she met you. I kind of tossed it into a box full of stuff that reminded you of me after the great Christmas Break-up.”

“Its beautiful.”

“It matches its wearer.” He said, bringing her hand up to kiss it while looking into her eyes. Josh was rarely mushy, his romanticism usually went for random little gestures that at first glance didn’t seem romantic unless you knew him. But she didn’t mind this momentary bit of mush. “I found it again while I was trying to pack for this trip...and it seemed like a sign.”

“And you didn’t bring it out earlier?” She joked to hide the fact that she felt like crying. Couldn’t he have pulled this out before she got her make-up on.

“I was kind of occupied at the time celebrating my engagement.” She grinned, remembering what had delayed their call to Sam. They had called his mom but she hadn’t been home.

“Oh, yes. I remember.” She looked down at the ring again. It was a the right size, which was odd she supposed, because she didn’t think Josh would think to resize it given how things had been going for them after he got it. “This was your mother’s? I don’t remember her wearing it.”

“Dad got her a new one for their 25th. He bought this for her when he made partner at the firm.” Josh laughed lightly. “Did I ever tell you she was a paralegal working for one of the other partners?”

“Your parent’s met at work?”

“Yep. Apparently its the family way to find your soulmate working in your office.”

“Oh, Josh.”

“Hey, no crying, you know I don’t know what to do when you cry.”

She laughed. “Good tears, Josh. You think we are soulmates?”

“I can’t think we are anything else. I’m complete without you Donna, but I’m not the me I want to be without you. Mom always said She and Dad didn’t fix each other, they just complimented each other that the rough edges slowly wore away. I am the man I am today because you were in my life. I can’t imagine it any other way.”

“How did your father propose?” she asked, pulling away from the hug she had initiated at his words. She loved his hugs. It still seemed like she was in a drought from all those months when they would barely talk let alone touch each other. Who knew that you could feel the loss of a simple thing such as a hug from your best friend.

“He got his friend, Mom’s boss to help. He asked her to research a contract he needed to get through and handed her this document. It was a write up of Dad’s vows, with a proposal at the end of the “contract.” He then waited in the guy’s office with the ring for her to come in. Apparently she made him wait for awhile,” Josh added with a smile.

“Apparently the Lymans are best when writing down what they want to say,” Donna stated with a smile, remembering the letter Josh had written, which was currently tucked safely in her suitcase.

“We should better be going,” Josh said, a smile his only response to her comment. He let go of her hands and put the box the ring had come in on the counter next to the phone. “We got reservations for eight at the restaurant.”

* * *

 

It was during the dessert course that Donna decided it was time to talk. Really talk. About what had happened the last year. Because she knew that there were things that they both were still stinging over, and they should get it out now.

She by no means thought that a conversation now would solve all the problems, but it was a start. And she was determined to start her marriage with Josh with them communicating without the misdirection they had made a habit of over the last 9 years.

Josh didn’t say anything for a bit, clearly trying to think of what to actually say. When he finally looked up she was surprised to see hurt in his eyes. Whatever he was about to say was still hurting him, despite their reconciliation.

“What did I do to make you hate me so much last year?”

“What are you talking about, Josh?” She said, honestly confused. “I never hated you.”

“That was the impression I got. Ever since you got back from Germany it was like I could do nothing right. You were either angry with me or snapping at me, sometimes both. Then you quit and didn’t even talk to me afterwards about it...Which is why I can’t believe it was just because of the job. Even when we did see each other for a long time you would barely speak to me.”

“You kept telling me what a horrible job I was doing.”

“I wasn’t saying you were doing a horrible job, I said you should be doing that job for someone else. It was never about you, Donna. Not that. It was about who you were working for.”

“It didn’t seem like that. And It was just the job, Josh. I was angry after Germany, and I’m sorry I took it out on you. I think you seemed like the easiest target, even months later. I was also frustrated with my life, both personally and professionally. I wanted something more from my job, from us, and it looked like neither was going to happen. So I had to get out. You were distancing yourself after Germany, CJ’s comments about how I was sticking around in a go-nowhere job because of you kept circling in my head.

“This,” she said pointing to the two of them, “was something I wanted, but it seemd like you weren’t interested, and that was on top of not knowing what to do about my job.”

“There was nothing much I could do either,” Josh said sitting back in his chair. He was surprised how calmly they were discussing this. The last time they even touched on the subject they had been screaming at each other. “On either front. I was distancing myself because I didn’t want to give away the fact that I couldn’t deny that I was in love with you anymore. You were my assistant, and even though most people in the West Wing and maybe even in the press room wouldn’t even care because they know us, the general attitude wouldn’t have been so nice for either of us, but particularly you.”

“You should have just told me that. You know, instead of criticizing my flowers, and yelling at people talking to me on the phone.”

“Yeah, well, you know how good I am at these things.” he took a breath and leaned forward again to take a drink of water. “And on the professional front, there wasn’t much I could do without firing you but writing a recommendation letter or firing someone else from the Legislative department and giving you their job.”

“CJ told me about you and Toby’s plan. When I spent the night at her place instead of coming over to yours, we had a lot to talk about and she told me that before I left you and TOby had been trying to figure out a way to move me over to the Press department.”

“Deputy Press Security for Domestic Issues. It would basically be an offshoot of what you were doing. Frank was leaving for a writing job, so the post was going to come available but there were a few hurdles we had to work ourselves around.”

“Why didn’t you tell me.”

“What good would it have done? Oh, hey...we found a great job where you can go places, but we aren’t sure when it will happen or if it will.”

“It might have made me feel a little less frustrated.”

“Would that have kept you from quitting?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it would have made it happen later. But I suppose it was the best that I quit. Leo says it was what gave you the push to get Santos to run.”

“You talk about me a lot to people don’t you?” He smiled weakly at her. “Yeah, I suppose it did. Although it would have been better with you then without you.”

“Well, I’m here now.” She placed her hand over his on the table and smiled. “We got over that hurdle.” And they had. Despite bringing up the bad memories of that Christmas, the overall mood was still relaxed and here they were having dinner, and talking. And they were engaged, so there was no doubt about where they both wanted things to go.

“We probably should have discussed this a long time ago.”

“Maybe, but I don’t think we were ready for it.” she sighed. “I wasn’t ready for it for a long time. I had my own issues I needed to work through, some involving you, but it wasn’t something I could get through with you. If that makes sense to you,” she said with a light laugh.

“Like what?” He asked, frowning.

“Like the fact that everything that I was ended up being tied up with you.” She sighed again and leaned back. “I needed to refine Donna Moss before you and I could ever figure out who Josh-and-Donna 2.0 was. I needed to be confident that I was succeeding because of myself not because of who I was with you. And I think the fact that despite doing that, I still needed to hear your opinion, to know you were proud of me annoyed the hell out of me. I had to deal with that too.”

“I was proud of you Donna. I didn’t like the candidate you were working for, but I was always proud of you and what you accomplished. And I was proud of you when you became a spokesperson for Santos too. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you that without you getting mad at me.”

“We really were the kings of miscommunication, weren’t we?” She smiled lightly.

“We are getting better.”

“That’s true.” He lifted her hand and thread his fingers in with hers. “I’m sorry I gave you the impression I wasn’t sure about us,” she added. “I just didn’t want us to just get back into the old habits of ignoring what was going on.”

“I think we need to acknowledge that despite rumors to the contrary, we don’t actually have the ability to read each other’s minds,” he said with a smile. “And I think we can be excused for fumbling a little bit.” He looked up and straight into her eyes. “I love you.”

It was still a thrill to hear him say that. After so many years of seeing it in his eyes and yet writing it off as some trick of light, it felt so good to hear him tell her that.

“I love you, too.” It felt good to say it too.

* * *

 

Hours later, Donna awoke in the middle of the night, most likely because her system was still off, still thinking in DC time. Josh slept beside her, although she shook her head as she noticed the pillow over his eyes. She always feared he’d accidentally suffocate himself doing that.

She got up and walked to the open french doors that went out to the lanai, enjoying the ocean breeze that seemed to be coming through the the curtains. It was beautiful here, even at night. She walked outside and sat on the deck, enjoying the moonlight.

An idea filtered through her mind for a second, though at first she tossed it aside. It was beautiful here, why not get married here. Hawaii symbolized so much to her and Josh now. They had spent their first vacation here, got engaged here, and began to heal their mutual wounds here. It would make sense to make the final step here.

The idea grew in her mind enough that it made her boot up her computer and see what it would take to get married.

As she read, another idea began to form.

* * *

 

“Josh.”

“Wha?”

“Wake up, I need to talk to you.” Josh peered from underneath his pillow, at first annoyed at the being awakened part, but finding the image of a grinning Donna sitting on the bed beside too nice to actually be annoyed about.

He sat up against the headrest of the bed and looked at her, wiping a hand over his face, trying to wipe the last bits of sleep from his mind.

“What is it?”

“Let’s get married.” He blinked.

“I think I came up with that idea yesterday, remember? A letter, I gave you my mother’s ring.” he said holding up her hand enjoying the look of it on Donna’s finger.”

“No, silly. I mean today.”

“You want to get married today.”

“Yep.”

“Is that even possible?”

“It is. I did some research last night and all we need to do for a license is to fill out paperwork, pay a $65 fee and provide ID so they know we are old enough. And there is a Justice of the Peace I happen to know who would be willing to sign the certificate for us if we get there by four.”

“Wait, you already called people?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Are you trying to talk me out of it?”

“No, but I don’t want us rushing into anything. We’ve done that before and it burnt us.”

“Josh,” Donna said, serious. “I love you, I want to marry you, and if you’ll have me, I’d like to do it today.” For a moment Josh didn’t respond, just looked at her. Then suddenly his lips were on hers and she knew without asking that he was saying yes. She smiled into the kiss, feeling the urge to laugh. Not because the situation was funny, but because for the first time in quite a long time, she was completely happy in all aspects of her life.

“You know,” she said joking as Josh’s kisses starting to go down her neck and they had fallen onto the bed, “This part is supposed to come after the wedding.”

“Yes, because we are all about following the normal way of things.” he responded back. “Should I keep one foot on the floor?” She smiled even more. This was more like them. The first couple of nights they had spent together had been frantic “Finally!” type situations. This, the bantering and the laughter and the smiles...this was more like them. More like what she excepted for them.

“If only to keep your modesty,” she stated. “As you know, I can get quite out of hand.”

“Good,” he said lifting his head and grinning down on her. “Exactly how I like it.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna & Josh's big day.

Donna realized later she had forgotten to take some things into consideration.  They needed witnesses, but she figured they could pull some office workers at the JP for that. What she had really forgotten was a wedding dress.  She might not be having the big wedding her mother had hoped for, but she still wanted a dress.  Donna had always wanted something simple, so eloping in Hawaii was right up her alley.  But the dress needed more thought.  While Josh went out to find some wedding rings, she went shopping for a dress.

She called up the one person she knew who could help her:  CJ.

“Donna!”  Donna smiled at CJ’s voice, noticing that there seemed to be genuine happiness to hear from her. Their relationship had been up and down the past year or so, but it was starting to come back to the sisterhood they had shared throughout the last eight years.

“Hey, CJ.”

“How’s Hawaii... and thanks for warning me that Josh was taking off.”

“Its fine, and I didn’t think about that, sorry.  Although Sam tells us you didn’t believe him when he said Josh was on Vacation.”

“Can you blame me?  Josh had to be held back by you to keep from coming into work too early after he got shot.  I don’t think the guy knows how to relax.”

“He has been.”  She paused for a minute.  “He was getting pretty bad there, for awhile.”

“I noticed,”  CJ said.  “I probably didn’t help.”

“I don’t think any of us did.  Thank god for Sam.”

“Yes, Spanky saved the day.  Now tell me why you are calling me when you should be sipping mai-tais on the beach?”

“I’m getting married.”  There was no response.  “CJ?”

“You two aren’t wasting time are you,”  finally came the response.  It held amusement which made Donna feel better.  She hadn’t been sure if CJ would approve of the change in their relationship, or the speed.

“We wasted nearly 9 years, CJ.  I think that was enough.”

“You don’t have to tell me.  Baring that stupid night with the lockdown, I have to admit I assumed this would have happened years ago.”

"Its happening today.”

“TODAY?”

“Yes, and I need some help picking out a dress.”

“Today?  Seriously?  Who's idea was this?”

“Mine. Josh keeps asking me if I’m sure.”

“Probably can’t believe a girl like you would want to marry him.”

“CJ,” Donna said, getting her point across.

“Hey!  I love Josh as much as the next person, but you know how he is.  He never believes he’s good enough.  Its why he always took what Mandy and Amy dished out on him till it affected his job.  Its why he was so stressed out. He never thinks he’s good enough for the rest of us, no matter what they say.”

“I know,” she replied, understanding what CJ was saying.  It was good to hear that CJ didn’t think that poorly of Josh.  She knew their relationship was a bit strained as well.

“So a dress, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Traditional?”

“Well, I’m thinking more simple.”

“How about a sundress?”  Donna blinked at the sound of Margaret's voice.  CJ must have turned her cellphone on speaker.

“Hello Margaret.”

“Hey, Donna.”

“A sundress might work.”  She walked into the store, pausing in her conversation to hold the door for a couple of women leaving the store.  “Although, not something floral.”

She walked to the dress section, frowning at the abundant floral patterns.  There was some pretty dresses.  But nothing screamed out to her “MARRY IN ME”.

“Do you want to go with White or off white,” CJ asked.  Donna wondered for a brief second if she was keeping the Chief of Staff away from something,but she figured CJ was finding this a welcome break from dealing with warring Russia & China.

“White.”  She continued to walk around.  Suddenly she found what she was looking for.  Maybe it was a sign, as Donna had expected it to take longer.  “I found something.”

“Describe?”

“White, knee length. V-neck with a gold clincher around the waist, and barely there sleeves.”  She looked at the tag.  “The designer is Kaiana Phillips.”

“She’s actually pretty good,”  CJ stated.  “I’ve never worn her clothes, but I’ve heard good impressions about them.  She isn’t that well known though.”

“Its on sale.”

“Even better.”

“And in my size.”

“The best.”

“Should I get it.”

“If its the dress, you should get it,” CJ answered. “And you are FLOTUS Chief of Staff now.  Buy it and KEEP it.”

“Josh told you?”

“He didn’t need to. I did that enough myself when I was in college.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not returning my wedding dress.”

“Wedding Dress?”  Donna paused in her stride to the fitting rooms as she heard the First Lady’s voice.  “Donnatella Moss, are you telling me you are getting married and you didn’t tell me?”

“Sorry, Ma’am.  I just got engaged yesterday.”

“And she’s getting married today.”   _Thank you Margar_ et.  Donna rolled her eyes, although fondly, at Margarets comments.

“My my, you aren’t wasting any time.”  Abbey’s voice held amusement.  “And here I thought it would take a federal amendment to get Josh down the aisle.”

“Just a vacation, apparently.  Which is good, because could you imagine what the President would have to go through to get that passed?” Donna joked back.

“He’ll expect to see you two when you get back.”  Abbey stated, laughing at her comment.  “I will too.  We’ve been waiting too long for you two to see what was in front of you to let you get away with eloping.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“I want pictures.”

“I’ll make sure to send you some.”

 

* * *

 

The dress fit perfectly.  Well, almost perfectly.  The V neck went a little further down then she was normally comfortable with, but she figured it was her wedding day.  A little extra sexy couldn’t hurt things.

She found a pair of shoes that were a dark blue that looked good on her, would be able to work with some of her outfits for work, and would cover the ‘something blue’.  She figured the dress covered new, the ring covered old, she just needed something borrowed.  So when she returned to the hotel room, she started to go through Josh’s things to find something she could borrow.

She sighed when she couldn’t find anything and after straightening everything...and probably making it more neat than Josh had to begin with, she went about starting to get ready. She could hear Josh return as she was getting out of the shower.  She went about putting herself together but made Josh close his eyes as he walked into the bathroom to take a shower as she was walking out.  She hung his suit inside the door and continued on to put on her clothes.

They might not be doing things the old fashioned way, but there were some traditions she wanted to keep. One was she didn’t want Josh to see her till she was all put together.

When the doorbell to the suite rung she frowned, but put a robe on to answer it.

“Ms. Moss?” the boy at the door said.  He didn’t look to be more than 15 years old.  SHe supposed he had to be 16 or 17 to be working as a hotel attendant.

“Yes?”

“This package is for you, can you sign?”

“Sure,” she said taking the pen he had handed her and the clipboard, signing the document saying she had received the package. She smiled as the boy said thank you and took off seconds after handing her the package.

It was not labeled, so it hadn’t been sent through the mail, although how anything could have reached her from anyone sending something by now was a mystery.  She opened the box to find a smaller box and a typed up note.

_Donna -_

_I figured you could use something ‘borrowed’, so I decided you could just bring these home to me when you come to DC.  I think they would look wonderful with that dress you described._

_Best of Luck,_

_Abbey Bartlet._

Donna stood there stunned.  She put the larger box down and took out the smaller one and opened it to find to find a pair of gold and what looked like diamond earrings cast in a swirling pattern that ended with a drop gem.  They were beautiful and quite possibly more expensive the Donna would ever buy for herself.

She carefully closed the box  and put it on the vanity that had her other items.  She had already had her make-up and done her hair, leaving it down but a little wavy.  She stepped into the dress and the shoes just in time to hear Josh coming out of the bathroom.  She was in the side dressing room that came with the suite, so she wasn’t worried about Josh seeing her, as she finished up.

As she put the earrings in she looked at herself in the mirror above the vanity.   She smiled at the image in front of her.  She wasn’t a vain person, but she looked good. And she had expected herself to be much more nervous.  There were some butterflies but she felt calm and right in her decision.

Today she was going to get married.  She’d be Donna Lyman.  She tilted her head in thought before tossing that name out.  No, she was Donna Moss-Lyman.    She smiled and walked to the door.

“Ready?”  she called out.

“I’ve been ready, Donna. Why does it take...”  He paused in his statement as she walked out of the room into the main room.  The look he gave her warmed her, and reminded her of many times over the course of her relationship when he had looked at her as if he couldn’t get enough of her.  That she took his breath away.

“You look amazing.”  he said walking towards her.  Unlike the last time he said it, there was no one else there, no one to comment on whether or not he could kiss her.  And he could now, he really could so he did.

“We have to get going,” she said after a few minutes of enjoying his kisses.  “We have an appointment remember?”

“Yes.  And then I get to call you Donnatella Lyman.”  He paused, shook his head.  “No, that doesn’t sound right.  Donnatella Moss-Lyman.”  He grinned and took her hand.  “Shall we go?”

* * *

 

The wedding was probably memorable to only Josh and Donna.  The Justice of the Peace was a woman named Geraldine Hernandez, a tall latina woman who  Donna had met on the campaign and had talked to.  Their witnesses were Hernandez’s personal assistant Deborah Morris and an intern from the office named Ian Jones.

It had been a quick twenty minute ceremony after about an hours worth of paper signing and dotting the t’s, but at 6 o’clock, they returned to their suite as Mr. & Mrs. Lyman.

They had decided that while she was officially Donnatella Moss-Lyman, she’d probably go by Moss professionally.  She was almost surprised by how easy going Josh was by her not fully taking his name.  She had always suspected he would be the kind who liked it, but he eventually admitted that it sounded weird calling her Donna Lyman.

She had to admit there was a little bit of a thrill being able to call him her husband.  For one it allowed them the ability to skip over the awkward “girlfriend-boyfriend” issue  as it seemed a little silly, and significant other had covered their relationship already so it wasn’t going to work.  So skipping to spouse seemed perfect.

“How do you get this thing off?”  Josh grumbled, trying to remove her dress as they kicked the door closed behind them.  She laughed.

“A little eager aren’t you?”

“To make love to my wife for the first time?  As a matter of fact I am.”  They both stared there grinning at each other.  “Besides, it wasn’t me who took off my tie,” he pointed out the slip of green she had in her hand.”

“True,”  she said, pushing him back into the room towards the bedroom.  “Although notice I did it without having to ask how to take it off.”

“Ties have been the same for centuries, Donnatella, your dress design has not.”

“It doesn’t have a zipper, Joshua.  It just slides off.”  His smile got bigger as he pulled her closer and kissed her, before working his hands down to the hem to start sliding if off her body.  However before he got near his goal, the phone rang. They paused and looked at each other in confusion.

Josh walked towards the phone while Donna kicked off her shoes and put it off to the side and laid his tie on the chair.  Her lips curved slightly as she let a thought pass through her mind on what she could use his tie for if he wasn’t going to put it away.  She turned to look at him.  He was standing near the wall, one hand on his hip, the other holding the phone to his ear.  His dress shirt was half unbuttoned showing the undershirt underneath.  He glanced over at her and smiled gently before concentrating on the phone call.

She could tell that it was someone from DC because Josh’s face and shoulders already looked like they were dancing.

“Well, Sam was telling the truth, Amy.”  Donna frowned. They were on their honeymoon and his ex called. It just brought back the bad memories associated with Josh, her and Amy when it came to tropical getaways.

Although on the bright side,  Josh had dropped everything and taken her to Hawaii while Josh had almost jumped at the chance to avoid going to Tahiti with Amy.

Josh sighed.  “I’m on Vacation, in Hawaii.  I’ll be on vacation for the next..”  He paused to calculate “four days.  As far as I’m concerned unless it is an emergency it can wait till I come back.”  More silence.  “Yes, I know Donna has gone vacation too.  She’s allowed.”  He grinned over at her.  He was still tense, but he was finding the conversation amusing now, which was an improvement.  She grinned and walked over and took the phone from him.

“...and really no one knows what they are doing around here, so it would be nice if not everyone took vacation at the same time.”

“Well, it helps to have both the bride and groom on a honeymoon.”  She bit her lip to stop from laughing at Amy’s sudden silence.

“Donna?”

“Yes, Amy?”

“You and Josh...”

“Yes.”

“So I probably just..”

“Yeah.”

“Well, with that note, I’ll be going now.  Enjoy Hawaii.  Although you should have just told people.  I think people would believe it more if Sam just told us that you and Josh had finally run off with each other.”

“Not a surprise.”

Not in the slightest.  I’ll see you in a few days.  Have fun.”

“Ah...thanks.”   They hung up soon after that, but Josh burst out laughing at Donna’s face when she looked up at him.

“She told us to have fun. Its a little weird to hear your husband’s ex-girlfriend tell you to have fun on your honeymoon.”

“I love hearing you say that,” he said with a goofy grin.  “The husband part...I’d rather not talk about Amy.”

“I wholeheartedly concur...although I would like to note that you better never suggest taking me to Tahiti.”  He winced at the reminder.

“Did I ever apologize for that?”

“I can’t remember. Its still an awkward memory for us.”

“Well, I am sorry.”

“Let’s just not bring it up again.  Weren’t we in the middle of something?”

“As a matter of fact, we were.  Hold on just a moment.”  Josh took the phone and dialed the front desk asking that they not be disturbed and that any calls have messages taken at the front desk for the next couple of hours. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The President finds out and Josh & Donna talk about their future.

“What’s next, CJ?” Jed Bartlett asked as he jotted down some notes on a issue he was going to have to comment on in a interview that was coming soon with Larry King.

“Sir, during your interview tomorrow you may be asked some questions about Santos Chief of Staff’s recent marriage.”

Jed paused in his note taking and looked up at CJ over the top of his glasses. “Are you telling me that I’m going to have to comment on the love life of Joshua Lyman?”

“Yes, Sir. Although you can always tell them it is a private matter you don’t want to comment on.”

“Please tell me that the wife in question answers to Donna.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good, he finally got his head out of the sand on that one,” He turned back to his notes. “Leo bet me a hundred dollars that Josh wouldn’t until after I left office. I gave Josh a bit more credit.”

“I betted it would happen at the second inaugural,” CJ said with a shrug. “Especially after the snow throwing, and the bringing out several senior staff members and a member of the press to watch him make a fool of himself.”

“Our Josh was never quick on the uptake when it came to matters of the heart.” Jed said, finishing his words. “I love him like a son, but there were times I just wanted to smack him upside the head for being so oblivious to his own feelings for Donna.”

“Sir, I’m not entirely sure he was ignorant of them...He just didn’t want to act on something he didn’t know was mutual or would make the administration have another issue to deal with. Technically dating your assistant is frowned upon.”

“Like Leo and I would have cared. We knew Josh, we knew Donna. We wouldn’t have given a..”

“Mr. President,” Debbie interrupted, her smirk telling Jed she knew exactly what he had meant to say, “The Ambassador of Russia is in the mural room.”

“Thanks, Debbie”.

* * *

 

“You know, there is something we should have talked about before we got married.” Donna said later, as they ate their dinner, which mostly consisted of decadent breakfast food. Belgian waffles, strawberries, kiwi and bananas, whipped cream (and eggs and sausage for Josh) and thick chocolate milkshakes. They were dressed in nothing but robes.

“What’s that,” Josh asked, looking at her with a look that told her that part of him still expected her to decide this had all be a really bad idea.

“Where are we going to live?” It had taken her awhile, but she realised that Josh’s suggestion about staying with him hadn’t been quite as obvious as it seemed. Sure, he had in fact wanted her to spend the night, but she was starting to suspect it had been a first attempt to get her to move in with him. And her being confused about the changes they were going through led her to step back from it.

Oh, well. They couldn’t do anything about that night now, and frankly she’d rather say in the present cuddled up with her husband (weird yet wonderful to say that).

“I assumed my place, considering I never liked your place, and currently its occupied.”

“Do you think your place is going to work with the Secret Service detail?” She knew from CJ that when there was a war going on, the Secret service also protected the Chief of Staff in a simpler fashion the the president. CJ had a agent travel with her but was mostly left to her own while at home or at the white house.

“I hadn’t considered that.”

“Maybe we should look for a place of our own...start anew.”

“If you are thinking I’m living without you while we apartment hunt and you stay over at CJ’s, I’m not sure you thought this all through.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Besides, I don’t think Danny would appreciate it.” She grinned. “I’ll live with you. I just think that maybe we should try and find our own place.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Normally this would be the time I’d find out you had actually found a place, and I needed to sign the lease.”

“No,” she said rolling her eyes. I was just thinking that maybe it would be nice to find a place for us, rather then just make your space into our space.”

“A bigger place?”

“Not necessarily, your apartment isn’t that small. Although if we ever..” she paused for a moment but Josh caught it.

“If we ever have kids?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah.”

“Do you want to?”

“I...” she paused. “I think I would like to at one point. Not now of course, not with everything so new with us, and new with the administration, but maybe a few years down the road.

“I don’t think we can plan for a slower time to have a kid,” Josh said. “But I think you are right. Maybe after midterms we could talk again about this.” he looked at his food. “And maybe we should look for the bigger apartment. Or maybe a house.”

“A house?” She raised an eyebrow herself. “That would mean moving further away from DC.”

He shrugged. “So it would be a longer commute. But we could find someplace that has enough room to grow if we choose to, maybe space for a friend to spend the night, and our own personal spaces. I don’t know, it just seems a house might be something we should consider.” He paused. “Toby owns a house.”

“I know. But I thought he backed out.”

“Nope. He actually lived in it awhile but decided it was too big for just him, and moved into an apartment closer to the White House and has been renting the house out since then.

“You want to buy Toby’s house.”

“Well, it has to be a good house if its got the Wyatt-Ziegler stamp of approval.”

She blinked. “Now who's rushing into things.” Her comment was followed by a smile. “I’d want to look at it first, but its an idea.” She could see it too, but she shut down that trail of thought. No need putting together a mental image right now. It would just lead to disappointment.

She also decided not to tell Josh that she had been looking around at houses and had found one. Only it was in Connecticut, in a small town called Stars Hollow. It would have been perfect for them....if only it had been a little bit closer to DC. Like Alexandria or La Plata.

Instead she leaned over and kissed him. It was so easy to imagine now the future Josh and her were planning. She could admit to having, on occasion, imagining this kind of future in the early years when she hadn’t yet realised the amount of issues that separated them from that happy ending. Especially during the months they were living together practically after his surgery. She had a feeling that even he had given into moments in just wanting it to continue on.

That first night back in her own apartment when Josh was clearly well enough to be on his own, had been awkward and felt almost like a separation despite the fact that nothing had gone on. There had been no confessions, not actions over the line. Just they had gotten used to each other.

The first weeks after she quit her job had been the same way, only she had her anger to help her ignore how much she missed him. It wasn’t until Iowa when he was so close yet so far away that she realised how much she missed him. She had wanted him to come over, to cross the barrier that had grown between them.

She wondered where they would have been now if he had actually knocked that night instead of just standing there. Would they be in the same place, only without the wasted months.

“Alright, what’s wrong,” Josh asked pulling away from the kiss.

“Nothing.”

“Donna.”

“Its just. That night in Iowa...”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think we could have what we have now back then if one of us had been brave enough to cross the hall actually knock. I almost did once, I know you did. But we never got to the actual knocking.”

“We weren’t ready.” Josh stated. “At least I keep telling myself that. We tore each up quite a bit that year after Germany. If I had come that night, or if you had come after me we probably would have ended up screaming at each other...like that time Lou stuck us in a room together. Or we would have jumped over all the healing and finding ourselves again and ended up having a campaign fling...which I couldn’t have handled then or now. Not with you.”

“What makes you so sure it would stay a fling.”

“Because we wouldn’t have talked. We’d have jumped each other every time we were in the same time, and once the pent up lust from the last 9 years faded away, we would still be left angry and disappointed in each other.”

“Is that why you didn’t hire me when I came to you after the Convention?”

“I want to say no, and I did have legitimate reasons to worry about the backlash from what you said. But after getting reamed out by Lou and Leo I think I can admit part of me was afraid to take you back, that we’d get too close again and I’d just be waiting for the other shoe to drop when you’d leave me again.” Josh’s face told her he’d rather not be admitting this, and it warmed her that he was making a concentrated effort and not misdirecting or hiding something from her.

“Now, don’t tell her I said this, but thank god for Lou. She made us work together without either of us being the one making the choice. I think it helped alot.”

“You ignored me at first.”

“I had to. I couldn’t figure out what I was feeling about it, and I was afraid I’d either end up a stuttering mess or blowing up on you.”

“Because you’ve never done that before,” she said with a raised eyebrow. “But I know what you mean. And we did blow up on each other in a way, that night when Lou locked us in a room together.”

Josh was silent for a moment....”Can I ask a question about that?”

“Sure you can,” Donna asked confused. “Why would I say no.”

“Did you honestly believe that the only reason I kept you around was because you knew how to order hamburgers?”

“No,” she said looking down. “I know it wasn’t but sometimes it felt like that and I was still angry with you because of the interview...and seriously dropping “and if you don’t think I missed you’ at the end of that? Anyway, I was angry at you and it just came pouring out. At the end it did feel that way.’

“Its not true.”

“I know that now.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Look, I think you did take it for granted that I was always going to be there, but I think perhaps I was a bit sensitive in those last months. And I was angry at everything, but mostly you because I thought something had changed in Germany, and we got back and...nothing.”

“Something had.”

“But you didn’t do anything about it. Except apparently call your mother.” She held up her hand to point out the engagement ring.

“You were having that...thing...with Ayres and it didn’t seem like you were interested in what I wanted to offer.”

“You are an idiot,” she said with a smile.

“Yes, well, you were missing the signals too, Miss Gather-thy-rosebuds.” He clasped her hand his chest. They had settled back onto the bed, their food forgotten (for now anyway).

“And what signal was I missing when you kept cancelling my lunch.”

“That I was scared.” She blinked surprised even though he had been quite forthcoming these past few days that he would admit to that. “Scared I wouldn’t be able to help you, afraid you would tell me that you were leaving.” He laughed, but she could tell it wasn’t because he found the situation funny. “Turns out it was a self-fulling prophecy. Although for the record...the last few days? I was barely holding it together. I don’t think I could have handled the lunch even if I had actually went.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t have the patience to wait any longer, but I think in the long run it was probably best for us.”

“You’ve said that, and I agree to a point. I still would have preferred having you by my side during the campaign.”

“I was, eventually.”

“Not in the way I wanted you to be.”

“I couldn’t.”

“I know.” He sighed. “On the bright side, I know now that when I have to deal with the First Lady’s office, I won’t be dealing with an idiot or someone who's not willing to to talk to us.”

“Lily wasn’t so bad.”

“No, but she didn’t stay too long after the whole thing with Ron Ehrlich. I don’t think I stood another one of her Chief of staffs after that.”

“Not even Amy.”

“Amy was better than most, but its awkward having to try to work with your ex-girlfriend when your relationship was mostly spent fighting each other over issues.”

“And yet you made her Legislative Director.”

“The Congressman did that. Although, speaking of which...seriously, you couldn’t have told her I was unavailable?”

“It was amusing to see you look so awkward about it, and maybe I was waiting for you to make the first step, Josh.”

“You like seeing me dig myself a hole don’t you.”

“Yep.” she said with a smile. “But you know I’ll always be there to help you out of it.”

“Except when it involves my ex-girlfriend trying to set me up with one of her friends because she thinks its pathetic that I’m 43 and unattached.”

“Well, now she knows you are very much attached. Although to be fair to Amy, she caught on that there was something between us years ago.”

“Yeah, she asked me right before we started going out if I was dating my assistant. I wasn’t...at the time you were seeing Calley.”

“She asked me if I was in love with you right before we found out about Zoey. I never answered her.”

“We weren’t really subtle...how the hell did we miss this.”

“Too many variables to how, at the time, things could have gone badly for everyone involved?”

“Maybe.” They got quiet for awhile, and Donna snuggled into Josh as they sat there.

“I think I knew I was in love with you after the hospital,” Donna said softly, her fingers coming across his surgical scars. “When Toby told me what happened I felt like my heart had stopped beating.”

“I know what you mean...Toby told me you were in the car.” She let out a sad laugh.

“Poor Toby. Always has to tell us the bad news.”

“I knew-knew in Germany, but I got an idea that I wasn’t feeling something normal for my assistant when you came back from Wisconsin during the first Campaign. I was caught off guard by how glad I was to see you, and only a little bit of it was because I was drowning in my office from paperwork. It was just your presence. I couldn’t deal with it, so I locked it away for years. I think it finally started to unravel after the election.”

“Looking back, I can see it, but if it makes you feel better at the time I just thought it was you being you about things.”

“I wanted to kiss you that night at the inauguration. In front of the whole lot of them.”

“I would have let you.”

“That’s good to know.”

“We would have gotten in trouble with Leo though.”

“I don’t know if we would. Not at first. Probably that I did it in front of Danny.”

“I wish you had.”

“So do I. But you had just broken things off with Jack, and I still had to do something about my relationship with Amy. It wouldn’t have been pretty.”

“So basically, what we have come to conclude is while there are many times over the years when we were in sync about wanting to move our relationship to something a little less professional, but in the end we waited till the right moment?”

“Seems that way.” He grinned. “Although, personally I wish Matt Santos had just waited till it was daylight outside to come see me that morning.”

She grinned. “What makes you think anything would have happened.”

“Well, the key later that day certainly gave me ideas.”

“None that you actually acted upon.”

“Well, not then.” His grin grew. “I’m willing to revisit a few of them.”

“I’m afraid to ask,” she said smiling.

“Well, we’ve already crossed out a few...though I’m not against revisiting them.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in DC, planning is going on.

“Matt.”

“Sir?”

“Now, no need for the Sir. We belong to an exclusive club now, you can call me Jed.”

“Of course,” the younger man said with a smile. “Although it may take me awhile to adjust.”

“Well, at least you are open to the idea. I think in the entire time I was president the only person who regularly called me Jed was my own wife. Everyone else, including Leo called me sir.” Jed shook his head. “It gets annoying at times.”

“So I shouldn’t expect any change in Josh then?”

“Probably not. Speaking of Josh, I need your help.”

“Help?”

“Josh has decided to run off and get married without any of us there. My wife and I would at least like to hold a reception for them when they get home so the ‘family’ can celebrate.”

“Josh got married?”

“You didn’t know?”

“No, I didn’t even know he was seeing anyone.” Matt paused, then rolled his eyes. “Let me guess, Donna Moss?”

“I see you saw thier connection.”

“I did, although I assumed I was just seeing things when a few days ago I asked her in my office if Josh was seeing anyone, hoping she’d admit it was her and she could help me get Josh to relax.”

“She’s about the only person who could.”

“She told me she didn’t know.”

“Donna and Josh are used to being in denial about their relationship, particularly to everyone else. I don’t think they quite got the handle of the fact that they can have a relationship now and be open about it.”

“Well, a marriage would suggest that they are adapting quickly.”

“Yes, its about time. Now I was wondering if you would help me get Josh & Donna to the reception. I’ve decided to get them back for eloping by making it a surprise.”

“I’m sure my wife and I can think of something,” Matt said, grinning. He paused, his smile lessing a little. “I can’t say I’m surprised Josh didn’t tell me he got married. Josh has never been quite...forthcoming about his personal life. I don’t have to tell you that I’m afraid Josh & I don’t have the relationship that you and Leo shared.”

“No, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have one eventually.” Jed paused. “When Josh went to get you to run for President, he did it for two reasons. One was that he honestly felt you were the right guy to get behind, and two because Leo was kicking him out of the nest. I don’t know if Josh saw it that way, but that was what Leo was doing. So he was dealing with the fact that Leo and I skipped over him for Chief of Staff, having his job spilt and given half to someone else and then CJ took him off a foreign trip at the last minute and looked like we were punishing him.” Jed sat down across from Matt, who followed suit.

“And then Donna left him.”

“They were seeing each other back then?”

“Oh, no. We could all see the truth, that the two of them were crazy for each other, but they were both so dedicated to keeping my presidency active and scandal free that they wouldn’t step over that line. Although after Gaza, I don’t think even Josh was denial about what it was. But things didn’t go well for them after that...I don’t know the exact issues that croped up because I was dealing with having a new Chief of Staff and Leo’s heart attack and the peace plan. All I know is I suddenly looked up and noticed that Josh was standing in my doorway, looking like he was drowning and asking me to let him go.”

Matt remained silent, letting his new mentor gather his thoughts. He could tell Jed was fond of Josh, perhaps even saw him as a son. And he wondered if he should have looked into who Josh was before he trusted the guy with the 9 point plan who showed up on his doorstep on Christmas Eve asking him to be President. Something had told him to trust Josh. Even though they sometimes bumped heads about how to go about doing something, he had never waivered in the thought that he should trust Josh. Even when Goodwin was telling him to cut him loose.

Given Bartlet’s story about how people had been trying to direct Josh’s life using his job, he wondered how Josh really saw putting Goodwin in charge of the transition. Matt had made that decision because he was really afraid that Josh was going to follow in Leo’s footsteps and give himself a heart attack if he didn’t relax and learn to delegate. It was why he called Donna in. Why he was grateful for Sam Seaborn.

He didn’t think he could do this without Josh around.

“Its funny, when I started to run for office, all I had was Leo and...” Jed paused. “Anyway, Leo had fired my entire staff one night and the next day told me he was hiring this group of young people I had barely heard of. Some spunky public relations expert from California, a lawyer from New York who had a way with words, and this guy who happened to be the son of an old friend of Leo’s. I’m actually surprised I had never met Noah Lyman, given that he and Leo were such good friends, but sadly I never had the opportunity.

So apparently Leo, knowing that my campaign staff wasn’t a good fit, went down to DC and used the “Old friend of your father’s” card and got Josh to come see me make a speech in Nashua. Apparently it convinced him to leave John Hoynes and join my campaign. And it took me four months to even remember who was who. But he was this energetic guy who kept working for me even though half the time I kept calling him Toby, and once probably caused him a great deal of trouble when I referred to Donna as his girlfriend right in front of his real girlfriend at the time.”

Matt laughed. “I bet that made her happy.”

“No,” Jed said laughing as well. “Josh wasn’t either, although I doubt because I made it apparent that he and Donna didn’t act like a normal boss/assistant. Donna had left to go back to her old boyfriend and at the time Josh was missing her pretty hard.”

“They’ve always been like that?”

“It seems so. Reminds me of Abbey and I. I knew the moment I met her that she’d turn my life upside down and I never regretted it. Josh however had already hired as an assistant which made things quite different.”

“I imagine.”

“Anyway, Donna eventually came back, and I eventually remembered their names. The night of the Illinois primary, Josh’s father died.”

“I didn’t know that,” Matt said frowning. How little did he know about the man who would help him run the country. He had known that Josh’s father had died, but not that he had died on a primary note. And to loose one of his pseudo-fathers on election night...the parallels weren’t pretty.

“Its funny, I went to see him that night before he left to fly back to Connecticut and talked about how proud his father must be, and here I am eight years later knowing exactly how Noah would have felt. Josh became my son without my conscious exception of the fact. They all became my kids in a way.” Jed smiled. “Abbey calls them her stepkids. She claims Leo and I are the fathers, and she’s the not-so-evil stepmother who checks their fevers and sneaks them candy behind our back.”  
Matt nodded, smiling himself. This he knew. Josh’s defense of the President and Leo had always seemed like a son defending his fathers.

“I went from having three daughters, to having a four daughters, and three sons. I would include Donna in my little family allegory here, but I think give her relationship with Josh I’ll just call her the much-loved daughter in law. But she was always a part of the family. Margaret too.”

Jed paused. “In this job, your senior staff becomes your family, the ones who protect you and who you want to protect. They become your advisors, and those who give you a moment of just being some guy. So choose the people who you can trust to give you good advice, but also choose people you could see yourself playing poker with at the end of a tough day. And trust Josh to know who to help you choose. Being the real thing to Josh is quite a compliment, and it is going to seem like quite a feat to keep being that real thing. But the good thing is Josh never expects you to do it alone. He’ll be there.”

“He’s already chosen my Deputy Chief of Staff.”

“Yes, a good choice. Just don’t let him have dinner with Karen Cahill”

“Karen Cahill?”

“You really don’t want to know.”

* * *

 

“I hear the President is planning a reception for the Moss-Lymans.” CJ looked up to see Will Bailey standing in the doorway. She had never had a problem with Will, although he often became a face of a problem she didn’t want to deal with. First Russell now Toby.

“Yes.”

“Please tell me I don’t have to help plan it.”

“No, I think the first daughter’s wedding was your first and last foray into party planning. Mrs. Bartlet and Mrs. Santos are taking care of it with some help from the mothers-in-law. Thankfully we will be no where near the planning. Are you going?” She knew that like her own relationship with Josh, his relationship was strained.

“Of course. I’ve been waiting four years for them to stop being idiots. I had to watch the snowballs, remember.”

“Your first month on the job.”

“My first day as an actual member of the staff, and I spent it being pushed into a cab followed by watching Josh Lyman doing a half-done romantic gesture to his assistant who may or may not at the time have leaked a story.”

“She didn’t.”

“Oh, I know. At the time I didn’t. I didn’t know anything. You know, given how they were acting the past year, I was starting to wonder if maybe they had missed their time.”

“Sometimes It comes around again,” CJ said, thinking of Danny and her’s rekindled romance.

“Sometimes.” Will said, hopeful. His conversations with Kate lately were making him wonder if he had stumbled into a relationship meant to fail.

“Its going to be interesting,” CJ stated, shaking off her thoughts. “I got a glimpse of the guest list. I’m wondering if any legislation is going to get done with half of congress attending a wedding reception for the former Deputy Chief of Staff. I mean, its even got bipartisan attendance. How often does that happen?”

“Who's going?”

“Haffley, Bruno, Calley, Skinner, Stackhouse, McCallister.”

“Haffley?”

“Apparently. At least Carrick is staying away.”

“I think the President might have kicked him out if he tried.”

They both laughed at the idea of the now Republican member of congress being dragged out of the room by Ron Butterfield.

* * *

 

“Oh, Joshua,” Ruth Lyman said in a sigh as she walked into her son’s apartment. She and Annabelle Moss had decided to help their children by getting things ready for the move. They had both been expecting this announcement...well, that the two had finally figured it out...not that they had decided to catch up in a months time to where everyone else thought they should be.

There was no way she was allowing her son to bring a woman home to this situation. Clearly her son hadn’t done a good cleaning since before the campaign started. It wasn’t horribly messy, but it was clear it was in a good need for a dusting and definitely a huge amount of laundry. At least she never had to worry if her son had enough clothes...he apparently did if his pile of laundry was to be considered.

She knew Josh would probably not appreciate her going through his stuff, even if its to straighten up. Probably especially if its to straighten up. But she was going to do it anyway. She gathered the clothes, putting most of it in the dry cleaning bags he had. He must have lived out of a suitcase for months. She shook her head. Her baby boy didn’t know how to take care of himself very well. He had to be prodded to do things like actually remember to eat and sleep when he was on a mission.

However she stopped when she stumbled upon a box in the corner. It was a cardboard box filled haphazardly with things. They didn’t seem to have a particular connection till she noticed a frame towards the bottom. It was of Donna & Josh from the second inaugural, taken by a white house photographer of them dancing and laughing together. It looked like they only had eyes for each other. She knew it had been one of Josh’s favorite pictures, and it had been on the wall along side pictures of herself, Noah and Joanie.

There were cd cases, a couple things that probably were Donna’s for when she stayed over, a rock-the-vote t-shirt that certainly wouldn’t fit her son and a few other items Donna must have left over. Her son had made a Donna box. Clearly unable to get rid of it, but not wanting the remainder of her in his life.

Sadly, she thought as she looked around her, there wasn’t much chance of that. It was a good things had changed for the better. She put the items back into the box, more neatly than her son had, and put it back on the bottom shelf where Josh had stuffed it in the closet. It was something the two of them would have to discuss.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh and Donna arrive home to celebrate with their family.

When Josh & Donna arrived back in DC after their vacation-turned-honeymoon they both felt alot better then they had when they had left. They had worked through several of the issues they knew they had (although they probably would have more. She doubted they would never fight again), and Josh had taken it easy.

She still wanted him to make a doctor’s appointment. She was afraid of what the last year had done to his system, and without her to make the appointments and make sure he went, she knew he wouldn’t. He felt he was fine. He didn’t want to make an appointment, but she brought up bringing the issue up with Abbey Bartlet and Josh sighed and promised he would make the appointment.

She was also worried about the anxiety medication, but thankfully he hadn’t needed as he had in the last few months. She could just hope that he would be able to relay less on them. It wasn’t that she didn’t think he would need them...it was obvious that they did in fact helped him. But with his other medical issues that he had to think about, she was worried about what medications he might take.

She had realised finally that some of things she had done as Josh’s assistant had been because they had been friends, and she had cared deeply for him and nothing to do with her actual job description. It was okay to do those things again, because now it wasn’t hidden behind it being the job, but rather what she could do for her husband. And likewise for Josh.

After all, how many bosses tempted fate and prison time to help her stay out of prison herself?

They walked into Josh’s apartment and Josh stopped as she continued in, starting to take off her coat. It had been a warm November in DC, but December was starting off to remind them that it was, in fact, winter time now. She paused and looked back at him and noticed his look of confusion.

“What is it?”

“Someone’s been here.”

“What?”

“Its _clean_.”

Donna took a look around and realised what he meant. She hadn’t taken too close a look at his apartment the one night she had stayed, too focused on getting as much of Josh as she could have in case they eventually decided this wasn’t going anywhere.  
“I won’t tell you your dry cleaning bill,” came a voice from one of the bedrooms, which soon revealed Ruth Lyman who stopped and leaned against the doorway, smiling at her son and new daughter-in-law. Donna smiled noticing Josh did the same thing, leaning in doorways while talking.

“Mom?” Josh said tossing his bags on the couch before approaching his mother. “What are you doing here?”

“I decided I wanted to great my son and his new wife,” Ruth replied, giving her son a tight hug. She was happy to see him looking so happy. When she had seen him in Florida, he had looked run down, exhausted and she thought perhaps a little depressed. She let go and walked towards Donna. “Donna, I’m so glad to see you again,” she said hugging the blonde woman. It had been odd, this past year, not hearing about Donna from her son who loved to talk about her. She hadn’t even had a conversation with Donna. The two of them usually chatted before Donna switched the call over to Josh, and Ruth had gotten used to talking to her.

They had emailed, so Ruth wasn’t disconnected. Apparently Donna had appreciated Ruth’s friendship, even as her relationship with Ruth’s son was crumbling.

“You too, Ruth.”

“See, I told you he was your guy.” Ruth whispered. Donna closed her eyes as the memory of her and Ruth’s conversation that night in the hospital came back to her. Ruth had asked how was ‘their boy’ when she arrived, and had basically treated it like a forgone conclusion that Josh was Donna’s to have.

“I guess that teaches me to doubt your wisdom,” Donna replied before opening her eyes again and letting the woman step back out of the hug.

“Your mother is here as well,” Ruth added, this time loud enough for Josh to hear. “Actually, I believe your whole family is here.”

“Seriously?” Donna asked, her eyes getting wide. She had expected to have to go to Wisconsin at some point to introduce Josh to her family properly. Josh had met her parents, and her older sister Evangelina and her kids over the years, but her two brothers and their families were still only known to Josh from phone calls and photographs Donna got in emails and letters.

“Yes. I must say its lucky your brother Matthew is quite a catch. If I were but forty years younger I might make a play for him.”

“MOM!”

“What’s wrong,” Ruth asked, her eyes sparkling in merriment at her son’s facial expression. “I’m a healthy woman who has interests of her own.”

“Can I not hear this?” Donna and Ruth burst out laughing. “I’m going to go check in with Sam.” Josh said, clearly not wanting to hear his wife and mother discussing Ruth’s dating choices. The two watched him walk away already grabbing his cellphone.

“Its a good thing I plugged that thing in. How you managed to get him to go anywhere without it I will never know.”

“Actually, that was all him. I think he really needed this vacation more than we realised.”

“I know. I was afraid he was going to work himself into being sick.,”

“Well, Sam and I are back in this life to be able to keep him from doing that.

“Donna,” Ruth said in all seriousness. “I never thanked you for the effort you put into taking care of my son. I know he’s a bit hard to handle sometimes but I felt so much better knowing that you were there to watch over him.”

Ruth remembered getting Donna’s phone call telling her that Josh was shot. She had remained strong on the phone, but once she got off she had to sit down and try to take deep breaths.

She couldn’t lose her baby boy, not after losing Noah just a few years back.

When Josh had gotten out of the hospital, the first couple of weeks she and Donna had taken turns taking care of him. It was only the knowledge that Donna was keeping a watchful eye, and would call her if she was needed that allowed her to go home. To find a place in Florida and move out of the house she shared with Noah and too many memories.

Although she hopped that soon she might be looking for a place in Maryland or Virginia so she could be closer to the grandkids. It was a possibility now. But she decided it was best not to bring that up to the newlyweds.

But it didn’t stop her from imaging a little boy who like his father when he was kid but with blonde hair and an ability to rattle of trivia like his mother.

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” Donna replied, and Ruth nodded.

“Donna,” Josh said walking out of the master bedroom. “Sam says that the Congressman and Mrs Santos want to see us tonight.at the Oliver Hotel. They had something they wanted to discuss with us and thought a change of scenery would be good.” He shrugged. “Sam wouldn’t tell me more details.”

“I’ll be fine,” Ruth said when she noticed their looks. “Go run this country. I have a Pride and Prejudice DVD to finish watching.” She grinned, knowing she wasn’t going to be watching a DVD at all.

* * *

 

To say they were surprised when they arrived for a meeting only to find themselves the guest of honor for a party would be an understatement. Donna had been a little bit irritated that she had no time to prepare...maybe wear something a little less work-ish to her own wedding reception, but it seemed that it had all be taken care of.

The two of them were separated and taken to two rooms in the hotel to change if they wanted to. Donna found herself in a hotel room with the First Lady (Present and future), Zoey Bartlet who was excited, CJ who was amused, and Kate Harper who looked a bit out of place and uncomfortable. Oh, and her mother who kept being weepy about it.

“Mom I told you why I did what I did.” Donna said as she got out of the shower. Her mother had been talking non stop outside the door. “I wasn’t going to let us get new excuses not to do it.”

“Josh and Donna are good at excuses,” CJ said, sipping a mimosa that room service had brought up.

“I think they were afraid of all of us shouting FINALLY” when the JP announced them as man and wife.”

“Pastor,” Annabelle stated absently. She had dreams of her youngest daughter’s wedding. There was going to be a church wedding, followed by a garden party reception. Daisies thorugh her daughter’s hair. There had been plans. Although she was at least happy that Donna had married a man she loved, and who Annabelle could both respect and see that he loved her daughter almost as much as Donna deserved.

A certain man who shall remain nameless would have made her plans happen, but it would be tainted by his treatment of Donna.

“Mom, Josh’s Jewish,” Evangelina said walking in with a dress bag. “I don’t think having a Pastor would be a good idea at a multi-faith marriage.”

“I don’t think Josh would care,” Donna said honestly. Josh wasn’t one to practice, He didn’t find comfort in it the way Toby had. But She would mind that he didn’t get any of his traditions put into the wedding. “But we’d would have either had a JP or a Pastor AND a Rabbi.”

“Of course,” Annabelle stated. “I didn’t mean any disrespect.” And she hadn’t.. She had just forgotten that her son-in-law had a different faith.

“Did you see Danny’s Article?” CJ said, deciding to change the subject.

“Danny wrote an article?” Donna said her eyes widening.”

“Yep.” CJ’s grin grew. “I have it cut out and laminated for you. Your first press as a couple.”

“Now get dressed,” Lina added, thrusting the dress into her sister’s hands. Donna unzipped it and blinked at what was inside.

“Isn’t this my red dress?”

“Yes,” Zoey said with a mischievous grin. “We heard about Josh’s reaction to this dress, and felt the call back would be great for the situation.”

“How did you...never mind, I don’t want to know.”

“Best you don’t,” Helen said with a grin. “Now get ready, your husband is waiting.”

“For once,” CJ stated.”

* * *

 

“I can’t believe you set this up,” Josh stated to Sam, as he tried to fix his tie.

“I believe I can take credit for that,” Jed Bartlet said with a grin. “You don’t think we were going to let you get away with this under the radar. And there just so happens to be some things I can still do. Figured I’d take advantage of it while I could.”

“Thank you, Sir, but this wasn’t necessary.”

“Not necessary for your family and friends to celebrate you finally getting it through your head what was in front of you?”

“Sir,” Josh said tiredly, and Jed nodded. He understood what Josh was saying. He had gotten it through his head. It was other things, things Josh couldn’t change, that kept those two apart for so long.

“Is there a particular reason all of you are here to watch me get dressed?” Josh asked a few minutes later, amusement back in his voice.

“Tradition,” Sam said. “We have to make sure you actually go through with it.”

“You realise the wedding actually already occurred, don’t you?”

“And you robbed us of our groomsmenly duties.”

“Oh, for crying out loud,” came a gruff voice in the back of the room. “Groomsmenly? Josh you might want to reconsider your choice for Deputy.” Josh grinned at Toby, still noticing that the President and Toby were staying as far away from each other as possible. It meant something to him that both men were putting aside their differences to celebrate his marriage.

“Regardless,” Danny interrupted, “I think we should go try and get the bride. This time sans Snowballs.”

“I’m never going to hear the end of that, am I?”

“Hell, no,” Will added with a grin. Josh was amazed how easily they had fallen back into being colleagues after the primary campaign. Oddly enough, he was glad Will had joined them.

Josh allowed the men to drag him out of the room and towards the hall the President had commandeered for the reception.

He stopped mid stride as he saw Donna walk towards him, wearing the wonderful red dress. He noticed the grins of everyone around him, and realised they had planned this as well. He simply smiled and took Donna’s hand as she reached him.

“They put a lot of effort into this,” She said with a half smile.

“So it seems. Ready to go in,”

“Lead the way.”

* * *

 

The reception had been wonderful, and Donna was glad that they had done it. It was amazing to see so many people who were happy for them, to be able to dance with Josh at a public event and not have people whispering about it. To see so many of her friends smiling and being joyous when so many of them had been through so much during the last couple of years.

Her favorite moment had been later in the evening, towards the end, when the President had asked the band to play a particular song and asked Abbey to dance to with him. Abbey’s face when the song began to play told her all she needed to know. This was the Bartlet’s first dance music.

Her and Josh had been jokingly given “At Last”, followed by “I’ll Be” by Edwin McGain. She knew that she was always going to connect those songs to this night, so she totally understood Abbey’s emotionalism when “Unchained Melody” began to play.

Josh walked up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back to lean against him.

“You know, if we do end up anything like them,” Josh said softly next to her ear, “I would consider that a good thing. I want that for us in forty years.”

“Except I’ll be President,” Donna said, turning to face him. He grinned at her response and leaned down to kiss her.

“And I’ll be quite happy to be your First Gentlemen.” He paused. “That sounds ridiculously pompous doesn’t it.”

“Suits you.”

“Thanks.” She grinned

“We’ll have that,” Donna said. “We have good role models,” she added looking back at the couple on the floor.


End file.
